At What Price
by Bellantara
Summary: Lance gets command of the Voltron Force, but at a horrible cost.  What-if take off on "The Right Arm of Voltron".
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Thank you to my wonderful beta reader UsagiRyu, for her suggestions and encouragement. I don't own Voltron or the team, WEP and Toei do. Darn it.

_The blood was everywhere, covering his hands, soaking into the knees of his khakis, as he desperately struggled to stop its rush. Keith looked up at him, onyx eyes wide and feverishly bright. "Lance," he gasped, reaching up and grasping Lance's lapel, "It's up. . . to you. . .finish. . . the mission. . . take. . . Black. . .counting on. . ." Keith's voice faded on a sigh and his hand fell away._

"KEITH!" Lance woke himself up screaming. "Oh damn," he moaned, fumbling for his cigarettes with shaking hands. He hadn't been able to sleep a solid night since the awful day three days ago, when he had become the Voltron Force commander, and it seemed tonight would be no different. "Might as well get up, McClain," he told himself, sitting up and reaching for his discarded clothes. "Today's going to be a hell of a day anyway, why not start it early?"

Once dressed, he slipped out of his room and outside, stopping under Black's pedestal. "Why did I have to be so stupid?" he asked the silent mecha. "Anybody with sense would have known not to go running off after Haggar. But no, I had to take off like a damn idiot, as usual, and Keith had to bail me out, as usual." He choked back a sob and lit a cigarette, then sat on the edge of the drawbridge and stared unseeing at the lake. More than anything he wanted a drink, several drinks, enough to make him forget and not feel the gaping hole at his right hand where his best friend, the other half of him, used to stand. He pushed the desire aside. "You owe Keith at least that much," he told himself. "You killed him, you get to stay sober and remember every damned thing that happened." The cigarette fell from his fingers unheeded as the tears he couldn't hold back streamed down his cheeks. "Keith," he whispered.

Sven Holgerson watched his new commander from Castle Control, his own cheeks suspiciously damp. The big Norwegian had always considered Keith and Lance his brothers, since the day the two of them rescued him from a bunch of older boys at the Academy. Close as the three of them were, though, it was nothing like the bond between Keith and Lance. He shivered as he remembered the scene three days earlier. . . .

_They had had a huge feast to celebrate the return of Voltron, and the defeat of Zarkon's forces. The next morning, the Force had accompanied Princess Allura to a neighboring village to pass out food. Sven had even let his guard down enough to talk to some of the village children. Then, one of Allura's mice had seen Haggar's cat and told Pidge about it. Lance had heard. "If that cat is here, so is the old witch!" Off he went in pursuit, Keith hot on his heels as usual. Sven had ordered Pidge and Hunk to get the Princess back to the Castle, then watched to make sure the three of them got away safel_y_. Before he could make any move of his own, Lance had come back at a dead sprint, face white, and dragged him to where Keith was fighting the old witch. When they got there, Haggar was nowhere to be seen; Keith lay in the middle of the dusty square, katana stuck in the ground beside him. An unholy amount of blood was spreading in a pool under him; Lance screamed and rushed to his lover's side. As Sven joined the two of them, he heard Keith gasp out his final orders, then saw him pull Lance's head down for a fierce kiss. A few seconds later, Keith's hand fell limp, and Sven knew the Commander of the Voltron Force was gone._

"He's out there again, isn't he?" the soft voice startled Sven out of his memories, and he turned to face the Princess of Arus.

"Ja, Princess, he is," the Norwegian sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He's either out dere or shut up in his room, and I don't know vhat to say or do to help him. Ve need him, and he needs Keit."

Allura came and sat on the edge of the console. "Sven, why is he taking this so hard? All of you were close, but you, Hunk, and Pidge don't seem to be as hurt as Lance is. I mean, I know he wasn't ready for command, but I wouldn't have thought he would react like this."

Sven gave her a measuring look. "Vhat I am about to say cannot go past dis room, ja?" Allura nodded, and he continued, "Lance and Keit vere closer to each uder dan de rest o' us." He took a deep breath. "Princess, Lance and Keit for as long as I've known them have been lovers."

"WHAT? I had no idea; why didn't anyone say anything before now?"

"Because ve didn't dare." Sven glanced up at the stunned princess. "Ve veren't sure how de people o' Arus vould react to such a ting. And even if ve had been sure your people vould accept it, ve knew Garrison vould not."

"But why would Garrison object?"

"Because Keit is—vas—Lance's commander. Garrison doesn't allow relationships between officers and dose dey command." Sven looked back at the monitor to see Lance getting to his feet and stumbling back into the castle. "Ve had better get ready; Garrison vill be here soon and I don't vant Lance left alone vile dey are here." He sighed again. "Dear God, help us get trough dis." He got to his feet and strode out of the control room, leaving Allura alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Lance slipped into the cathedral and made his way to the front, where Keith's casket rested. He knew he didn't have much time; the Garrison delegation was due in less than two hours, and he would need to be at the Castle in dress uniform when they arrived. He had to come though; he wouldn't be able to say goodbye the way he wanted, **needed, **to with half the Garrison brass looking on.

He fell to his knees at the head of the casket. Keith looked like a Garrison recruiting poster; his dress uniform was immaculate, his treasured katana gleamed between his clasped hands, and every dark hair was in place. Lance's breath caught; never in their time together had Keith's long hair been anything but unruly. Abruptly it was more than he could bear. Almost frantic, he yanked his comb out of his back pocket and attacked Keith's hair, only stopping when it was back to its accustomed disorder. Then he dropped his head to the ice-cold hands of the only person he had ever loved. "Damn, I miss you so much already," he whispered, paying no attention to the tears that dropped onto Keith's hands and uniform. "We were supposed to be together always; why did you have to leave me so soon?" He reached up and traced the strong line of his lover's jaw. "Did you even know how much I love you? God, I—" He broke down then, giving vent to the anguish he knew he wouldn't be able to show at the funeral.

He barely heard his watch beep, warning him that he had only an hour before he was expected to meet the arriving dignitaries. Slowly he sat up, wiping his tears on the back of his hand. "I'll make you proud of me. I'm not as good as you were, but I'll do my best." Lance ran his fingers through Keith's dark hair one last time, then reached into his pocket and pulled out the rings they had bought on Earth, but never dared wear. He carefully slipped one inside Keith's tunic, just over his heart, then defiantly jammed its mate on his left hand. "No more hiding," he whispered fiercely. "I've loved you since the day I met you, and the only damned thing I regret now is that we had to hide it. No more." Swiftly he got to his feet and started to walk away, but stopped and came back to the casket. "I love you, Keith Kogane." He leaned over and kissed Keith. "I will always love you." Slowly he backed away, turning to leave only when he couldn't see Keith's face anymore.

Thirty minutes later, he was in his room, putting the last touches on his dress uniform, and swearing at his collar as he always did. It was being more uncooperative than usual, and just when he decided he didn't care and would go with it open, his door opened to reveal Sven, resplendent in his own dress uniform, black band carefully fastened around his left arm. "I seem to remember dat you alvays had trouble vith your collar," the Norwegian said quietly. "Vould you like some help?" Lance nodded, and lifted his chin to give Sven room to work on the stubborn collar. "I vill not ask how you are doing; I know de answer. Vhat I have not told you is how very sorry I am. Never have I seen two people love each oder de way you and Keit did."

Lance closed his eyes against the fresh tears Sven's words summoned. "God, Sven, what am I going to do? Never mind that I loved him, and I feel like half my heart is in that goddamned box with him. I'm not cut out for command, I'm not a tenth the commander he was. Even Black knows it; I can barely get him to work for me!"

"No von is asking you to be Keit. Just be you. Let us help you." Sven stepped back and graced his friend with a particularly sardonic look. "And if it makes you feel any better, dat Red beast of yours is giving me just as much trouble!"

Lance managed a half-hearted grin. With him taking command and moving into Black Lion, the Princess had volunteered to take his place in Red Lion. Red had completely refused to respond to her, though, and only through trial and error had they discovered that Blue would. Three pilots later, Red responded to Sven, reluctantly, and so keys were exchanged and the new team set. "I'm going to need all the help I can get, brother. Especially today."

"You know you vill have it." Sven pulled another armband from his pocket and fastened it around Lance's arm. "Come on, let's get dis circus started."

The four original members of the Voltron Force stood at attention outside the Castle as the Garrison ship landed, Princess Allura at Lance's right hand. "Nice of them to finally acknowledge that we exist," he growled under his breath to Sven. "Where the hell were they when we were waiting to be Robeast food on Doom? Where have they been all this time that we've been on 24/7 alert, and so damned tired we can barely fly most of the time?"

Sven sighed. "I know, brother, I know. But ve have to be nice to dem. YOU have to be nice to dem; you are de commander now."

"Maybe, but I damned sure don't have to like it." The ship's ramp came down, and nine men walked out. Lance's right arm snapped across his chest as he saw the admiral's stars on their leader; Sven, Hunk, and Pidge quickly followed suit. They held the salutes as the delegation crossed the tarmac and stopped in front of them.

The leader returned the salute, then turned his attention to Princess Allura. "Greetings from Galaxy Garrison, Your Highness. I am Admiral Denison, this is Commodore James, and Commander Castell."

Allura inclined her head graciously. "Welcome to Arus, gentlemen. I am sorry that your first visit had to be under such circumstances." She turned to Lance. "This is Lieutenant Commander McClain, the commander of the Voltron—"

"Acting commander, Your Highness," Denison interrupted. "He is not qualified to command this team, and Galaxy Garrison _will_ be sending a replacement for Commander Kogane."

Five sets of eyes narrowed at that. "We will not discuss a replacement for Commander Kogane today," Allura answered coolly. "Today is about honoring him and saying farewell; everything else can wait."

"As you wish, Highness." Coran stepped forward then, and took over escorting the delegation into the Castle and showing them their rooms.

Lance was shaking. "Replacement? They can't do that! We have a good team here; what the hell gives them the right to interfere?"

"I won't fly for anybody else," Hunk growled, and Pidge nodded in agreement. "YOU are the commander of the Voltron Force, not some Garrison flunky they think they can throw out here."

"You know they'll do it, though." Lance started to pace. "We've been out from under their thumb for so long; this is just what they need to get some control over Voltron."

"I won't let that happen." Allura touched Lance's arm. "Voltron belongs to Arus, not the Garrison. I have the final authority as to who flies him, not Galaxy Garrison. And I WILL NOT let any of you be replaced. I'll pull Arus from the Alliance first."

Lance covered her hand with his own. "Thank you, Princess. It's good to know somebody's on our side, even if our own people aren't."

"Ve meant vhat ve said dat first day," Sven put in. "Ve serve you, not de Garrison, and if dey make us choose, dey vill regret it." He glanced at his watch. "Ve must get to de cathedral; it is almost time."

Allura nodded. "You boys go ahead; Coran and I will be there in a little while with our guests."

Lance bowed to her, and the four men set off for the cathedral. "Man, is that all Garrison could be bothered to send? Three stuffy chair force types who've never even seen a battle?" Disappointment was written all over Hunk's face. "I would have thought the Vehicle bunch would come, at least!"

"Jeff said dey vanted to," Sven answered. "Garrison denied dem permission, said dey were too vital where dey vere."

Pidge was perplexed. "But the last letter I got from Chip said they were heading to the Altair outpost for resupply."

"Don't you guys get it?" Lance exploded. "They don't give a damn about us, they don't give a damn about Keith. Those assholes are only here because it would make Garrison look bad if they didn't send anybody at all. Hell no they aren't going to let anybody that cares come; we aren't worth that."

"Easy, Lance, ve know." Sven put an arm around his shoulders. "But ve care and de people of Arus care. To hell wit anybody else. Ve vill be polite, but dat is all."

Lance sighed. "I wish we could have just had a small service in the Castle chapel, just us. Keith wouldn't have liked all this fuss over him." He pulled at the collar of his uniform. "And he would have wanted us to be comfortable!"

"We can say our goodbyes later," Pidge said softly. "This is for the people of Arus. He's a hero to them, a legend now."

They had reached the outskirts of the village and stopped to form up for the march into the cathedral. Hunk and Pidge were in front, with Lance and Sven following five paces behind them. "For Keit, team," Sven whispered. "Make him proud, ja?"

They marched, Academy-perfect, into the cathedral and took up guard positions at the four corners of the casket. Lance's grief washed over him as though rawly new, and it took all his discipline not to fall to his knees. He was grateful that standing at attention precluded him looking down at the casket; he couldn't have borne it. The speeches washed over him without him really hearing; he was vaguely aware that Allura presented Keith with the Ariella Cross and the Sword of the Lion Knight Protector, the highest honors Arus could bestow, but he had no idea what she said. Likewise when Admiral Denison presented similar honors on behalf of the Garrison, and when the archbishop of Arus spoke. _I'm alone,_ he thought. _ Oh, my Keith, beloved, it wasn't supposed to end this way._

Lance himself, as commander of the Voltron Force, was the last speaker. As the archbishop returned to his seat, Lance stepped to the pulpit, suddenly as nervous as though he faced all of Doom on his own. He swallowed hard, throat suddenly too dry to speak, then he caught the Princess' gaze from the front row. _You aren't alone,_ she mouthed to him. _I'm here; we're all here with you, Lance. You can do this._ He nodded. _Thank you, Princess._

"Keith Kogane was a brilliant commander," he stated firmly, voice carrying to every corner of the packed cathedral. "He had a gift for strategy and tactics that has never been seen before, nor will it be seen again, and I have never seen his equal as a pilot." He paused. "Everyone knows that. What everyone doesn't know is the man in the warrior's armor. Keith was a caring friend, a staunch defender of those weaker than him and what he believed to be right. It's an old cliché, but he really would give you the shirt off his back, if you needed it. I met him when we were sixteen, at the Garrison Academy, and have to tell you I didn't think much of him. He was quiet, studious, a good kid—everything I wasn't. But I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for him. He helped me with my studies at the Academy, fought to have me on his team, and saved my life more than once. I will regret to my dying day that the last time he did so it cost him his own." Lance looked out at the crowd, not bothering to hide his tears, knowing that beside him his team was shedding tears of their own. "Arus has lost a great hero; we have lost a beloved brother, and all entirely too soon." He rejoined the team, swallowing hard to keep from breaking down entirely. Together they closed the casket, draped the Arusian flag over it, and carried it out to the waiting gun carriage. Four black stallions were waiting; they mounted them and followed the carriage back to the Castle of Lions.


	3. Chapter 3

Lance nodded absently to a comment from the village elder in front of him, wishing the reception was over and he could escape, could go mourn in private. _Hell, I'd even welcome an attack from Zarkon right about now,_ he thought grimly. Politely he excused himself and wandered out to the balcony, desperate for some fresh air. His dress uniform was comfortable enough, but it didn't stop him from imagining that the collar was choking him. He leaned on the railing and looked out, just able to see where Keith's camouflaged grave was. There was no marker, and wouldn't be any time soon; the last thing they wanted was to give Zarkon that kind of target, and God only knew what Haggar might do with Keith's body given the chance. _Doesn't matter. We can remember him without any markers._ A noise behind him had him straightening, then snapping to full attention when he saw it was Admiral Denison joining him. "Sir!"

"As you were, Lieutenant Commander." Denison stood stiffly at the railing, not looking at Lance. "Kogane was a good man, from the reports I've read. It will take some time for us to find an appropriate replacement."

Lance fought to keep his expression blank. "With all due respect, Sir, a replacement is not necessary. Princess Allura has volunteered to join the team, and is a more than competent pilot. Lieutenant Holgerson and I—"

"A civilian on a combat team?" Denison interrupted. "That's just more proof that you're unsuited for command, McClain. It's obvious to me that this entire team needs to be reorganized. Perhaps even replaced all together."

Lance went hot, then cold. "You can't do that, sir. This isn't a typical unit; you can't just throw people at it. Our strengths and weaknesses complement each other, and we fight better because of it."

Whatever reply Denison was going to make went unsaid as the Princess stepped out on the balcony. "There you are! Commander McClain, Lieutenant Holgerson is looking for you inside." Lance bowed to her and left; she watched until he was out of earshot, then turned back to the admiral, blue eyes stormy. "Was I unclear when I told you that there would be no discussion of Commander Kogane's replacement today?" The admiral shook his head. "Then why on Arus were you out here discussing that very thing with Lieutenant Commander McClain?" Allura took a step closer, fury written in every line of her being. "I do not like to repeat myself, but it's apparent that I need to make an exception in your case. There will be NO discussion of replacing Commander Kogane, or any member of the Voltron Force, any time soon. If you cannot abide by that, Admiral, then I will ask you to leave my planet immediately. Those five men were—are—brothers, and losing the Commander has been like losing their right arm. For the last time, LEAVE THEM ALONE. Am I clear?"

"Yes, your Highness." Allura nodded curtly and returned to the reception, leaving the Admiral to stare after her.

Inside, Lance had caught up with Sven. "Princess said you were looking for me?"

"Ja, just to get you avay from dat Admiral," the Norwegian said darkly. "Ve couldn't get out dere vith you before he vent out dere. I'm sorry, my brother."

Lance shook his head. "It's alright. I've got to learn to deal with people like him." He took a deep breath. "Sven, I've got to get out of here, now. I-I just can't take anymore today."

Sven looked him over carefully, noting his friend's pallor, the slight tremor in his hands, and the just barely contained grief in the green eyes. "Go. Ve vill take care of tings here. If you need us, call us." He put a hand on Lance's shoulder. "He vould not vant you to destroy yourself wit your grief, Lance."

"I know. I won't." Lance touched Sven's hand, then started for the door, managing to avoid or at least limit contact with most people along the way. His luck ran out at the door, when Commodore James intercepted him.

"Leaving so soon, Lieutenant Commander?"

Lance managed not to roll his eyes. _It's like they want to rub it in that they don't want me as commander of the Force._ Aloud he said, "Unfortunately so, Commodore. This would be a perfect opportunity for Zarkon to attack; we really need to have a patrol in the air."

"If you say so." The commodore's gaze swept over Lance, stopping on the ring that gleamed from his left hand. "I wasn't aware that any of you had been given permission to marry, Lieutenant Commander," the man frowned.

Lance smiled coldly. "I didn't ask permission. . .Sir."

The commodore's eyes narrowed. "I see. And just who is this girl?"

"No girl, Commodore." Lance folded his arms. "I am-or was-married to Commander Kogane."

"You WHAT!" Every eye in the room snapped to the commodore, and his guards made their way over. "Lieutenant Commander, you leave me no choice but to arrest you for fraternization and conduct unbecoming an officer." He turned to his guards. "Take the Lieutenant Commander into custody, and hold him on our ship."

"I don't think so." As the guards moved to either side of him, Lance exploded, taking out one of them with a right to the jaw, and the other with an elbow to the stomach. The rest of the Garrison guards started for him, pistols drawn, but quickly ran into the rest of the Force. Even Allura stopped one, lifting her skirt and sticking a dainty ankle in his path so that he went sprawling. "Oh, pardon me, I didn't see you coming," she giggled.

Sven grabbed Lance's arm. "Get de hell out of here, now. Ve'll take care of Garrison. Here; you need to be able to fly like you're used to." He pressed Red's key into Lance's hand, then pushed him. "Go!"

Lance ran from the room and didn't stop until he was in Red's cockpit, safely headed away from the Castle.

Back in the ballroom, the Force faced the Garrison officers. "I am appalled and outraged at your conduct, Commodore," Allura started, only to be cut off by the admiral.

"Don't talk to us about OUR conduct, PRINCESS! These men will be joining McClain in the brig once we catch him, for obstruction of justice and assault on a Garrison officer in the execution of his duties." He glared around at the Force. "And that's just for a start. It's obvious that all of you knew about the relationship between Commander Kogane and Lieutenant Commander McClain, and conspired to help them cover it up."

"No one is going anywhere." Allura stood toe to toe with the admiral, all five feet two of her. "The Voltron Force is needed on Arus; I will not permit you to take them away. I will give them asylum here if need be."

"I'm sorry, Princess, but you can't do that." This from Commodore James. "These men are still Garrison officers, and still subject to Garrison discipline."

"Vell, isn't dat just convenient. Vhen ve are fighting day and night, so tired dat ve cannot hardly see, vhere is Garrison?" Sven's voice began to rise. "Ve have begged for even von backup pilot, but Garrison canna be botered. You sent us out here in a shep wit no veapons, left us to rot on Doom, but now it suits you for us to be Garrison officers? To hell wit you!" He added something else in Norwegian, then went on, "Admiral, consider dis my resignation. Princess Allura, I accept your offer of asylum."

"That goes for us too." Hunk and Pidge stepped up on either side of Sven. "Sven's right; Garrison's never cared anything for us. And as for Keith and Lance—" Hunk glared at the Garrison officers. "Yeah, they've been together for a long time. So what? It hasn't affected the team; I think they were better fighters for it. And yeah, we helped keep you guys from knowing about it. Didn't think it was anybody's business but theirs."

The Garrison officers were almost purple with indignation, but before they could say anything, Coran spoke up. "Had we not met the Voltron Force before we met you—gentlemen—we would be left with a very poor impression of Earth manners. As it is, I have never seen such appalling taste as to create such a scene in the middle of a man's wake, a man who gave his life for this world and is honored by us. And I have no words for trying to arrest his partner and forcing him to leave a memorial."

"Coran speaks for Arus." Allura looked around at the Garrison officers. "You are no longer welcome here, gentlemen. I suggest you leave. Hunk, Pidge, please make certain that they get on their ship and leave Arusian air space at once."

"Sure thing, Princess." Hunk and Pidge herded the men out of the ballroom; a few minutes later, the Garrison ship took off, Green and Yellow Lions on either side of it.

As the two Lions returned, the alarm went off. Sven pulled out his communicator and called Castle Control. "Dis is Holgerson. Vhat's going on?"

"Sir! Incoming Doom fleet!"

Sven swore in Norwegian. "Coran, get everyone to the shelters, NOW. Princess, meet me in Control!" He took off at a run; Allura hiked her skirts and followed him, leaving Coran to herd the dignitaries to safety.

When Allura got to Control, changed into her pink jumpsuit, the attack was in full swing. Hunk and Pidge were fighting their hardest, but Sven was just standing watching the monitor, face pale. He turned when he heard her footsteps. "You've got to get up dere fast, Princess."

"What about Lance? And why aren't you up there yet?"

Sven grimaced. "I am trying to reach Lance. As to why I'm not up dere—I gave Lance Red Lion, and he didn't leave Black's key. Ve are in deep trouble, Princess."


	4. Chapter 4

Lance was sitting on Red's nose, legs folded under him. His perch offered a commanding view of the Castle and surrounding forests, but he was too miserable to see it. _All my fault, _he thought. _He'd still be here if I hadn't been so stupid. God, I can't do this without him—I can't __**live **__without him. I should have stayed and fought with him—at least then we could have died together. _He pulled his gloves off and lit a cigarette, then stared at the silver and turquoise ring on his left hand. A half-smile tugged at his lips as he remembered when he and Keith had bought it. . . .

It was the last day of their graduation leave. Over the course of the last week, Keith and Lance had gone to the Disneyland Museum, where they gawked at the antique attractions, had gone rock climbing in the Grand Canyon, and now found themselves in the Old West town of Tombstone. That morning they had watched the gunfight at the O.K. Corral, making jokes to each other about the bad marksmanship involved, and had toured the Bird Cage Theatre—which Lance swore still smelled of sex 250 years after the last prostitute had left. Now they were browsing the little shops along Main Street, comfortably holding hands. "I want to do something before we leave for Arus," Keith said suddenly.

Lance graced him with his best fallen-angel smile. "We'll have plenty of time for **that**, you know. It's a long trip to Arus." He ducked the palm Keith swung at the back of his head.

"Will you be serious for once?" Keith growled, uncharacteristically nervous. "This isn't easy." He swallowed hard. "It can't be official, of course, but—" he got down on one knee in the dusty street. "Lance Charles McClain, will you marry me?"

Lance would have been less stunned if Keith had shot him. "Are-are you serious?"

Keith nodded, then his face fell as Lance continued to gape at him. "I guess that's a no," he said softly. "I knew I shouldn't have—"

Lance finally pulled his wits back together and dropped to his knees in front of Keith. "No, no, no, you just surprised the hell out of me is all." He put his hands on his lover's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Keith Akira Kogane, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you with all I am and all I ever will be. Yes, I will gladly marry you." He leaned in and kissed Keith. "Now. Today. I don't want to wait. Let's go find a preacher!" He pulled a laughing Keith into the nearest jewelry store, where the delighted owner—who had watched the whole proposal—not only sold them matching rings at a substantial discount, but directed them to a minister who married them that same afternoon. . . .

Explosions jarred Lance out of his memories, and he looked up to see Green, Blue, and Yellow taking on a fleet of Doom fighters. He swore and scrambled for his cockpit, wondering where Sven was. . . then froze when he realized that not only was he out in Red, he had Black's key with him as well. _Just brilliant, McClain. What the hell are you going to do for an encore?_ Shaking off the feeling, he dove into Red's cockpit and threw the Lion into the sky.

He was halfway back to the Castle when he heard a roar behind him. He glanced at his aft monitors. . . then stopped dead and went through every curse he knew, including the Drule ones, when he realized _**Black Lion**_ was overtaking him.

"Lance, Sven, about time you got out here," a relieved sounding Pidge called. "We're getting our butts kicked!"

Sven answered before Lance could. "Vhat are you talking about? I'm still in Control!"

"Then who—"

"Never mind," Lance put in quickly. "Whoever's flying Black's on our side and we have a job to do! Let's go Voltron Force!" He put Red into a steep turn, calling up his weapons and burning through the Doom fighters. Absently he noticed Black next to him, just like. . . .his jaw dropped. _I'll be damned, that's _Keith_ flying that lion! Somehow, some way, he's come back to us!_ He gave himself a mental shake. _ And if you don't pull yourself together and pay attention to your flying, McClain, he won't be the only ghost in the Lions. _ The Doom ships were gone; right on schedule a Robeast appeared, a ghastly thing that was a sickly green and all over tentacles. "OK, guys, let's do this!" He quickly snapped out the commands for forming Voltron, hoping the ghost in Black Lion would follow them.

Much to his relief, formation was flawless, and he found himself in control of Voltron. "All right, let's see about those tentacles. Fire Spinning Laser Blades!" The disks shot away and took out half the tentacles. To the Force's horror, two more grew back for every one they cut away. Even Allura swore then, and Lance reminded himself—again-to watch his tongue around her.

"What do we do, Lance?"

The Robeast roared, then raised its arms and sent a blast of green liquid towards Voltron. "Lance! That's acid!" Pidge warned, and Lance yanked the controls to send Voltron scrambling out of the way. The acid missed, but three of the tentacles darted out and wrapped around the robot, sending him crashing to the ground on top of Red Lion. The other members of the Force screamed Lance's name, but got no response.

The impact had crushed Lance against his controls. A trickle of blood ran down into his eyes, and he could feel his ribs grinding together around the control sticks. As he groaned and tried to focus, he thought he could hear Keith's whisper. _Come on Lance, pull it together. The team needs you, they can't do this without you!_ As Lance wiped the blood from his face and carefully sat up, the gasps of his teammates alerted him to the fact that Voltron was getting back on his feet.

"Lance, are you all right?" That was Sven's voice, coming from Control. "Dat Robeast is coming for you; you've got to move!"

Lance hit his COM, careful to keep the visuals off. "OK. . .team. We need. . .to finish this. . . quick. Any ideas?"

Allura spoke up first. "Lance, what if we freeze it, then hit it with Blazing Sword? It can't regenerate tentacles if it's frozen, and a dead center strike with the sword should finish it." She wished Lance had his visuals on; she didn't like how he sounded, and was worried he was badly hurt.

"Sounds. . . good to. . . me." Lance wiped the blood out of his eyes and blinked furiously, trying to resolve his double vision. "Pidge. . . you'll have to. . . swing the Sword. I. . . can't see. . . well enough." Pidge nervously agreed. "Form. . . Blazing Sword! Princess. . . .now!"

Allura's fingers flew over her controls. A jet of ice shot from Blue's mouth, covering the Robeast. Pidge took the Sword from Red's mouth and swung, splitting the Robeast in half.

"Good. . . .job. . . team," Lance managed as the Robeast exploded. His ribs were on fire, he was still seeing double, and to top it off he knew he was about to pass out. "Let's. . . go home." He put in the commands to separate Voltron and headed for the Castle, praying that he would make it.

In Castle Control, Sven watched Red Lion weave all over the sky and leaned over the COM. "Lance, talk to me. Vhat's going on?"

"Can't. . .see. Double vision. . .dizzy. Hit head. . . ribs broken. . . too." Lance tightened his grip on the controls. _ Come on McClain, keep it together._

Sven swore to himself in Norwegian. "OK, I vant you to land in front of the Castle, Lance. Just listen to me, I'll talk you down, ja?"

Allura broke in on the frequency. "Sven, do you want one of us to stay with him?"

"No, Princess, not de vay he is flying. I need you tree to stay out of his vay." Sven turned his attention back to Lance. "OK, Lance, you're doing fine. Slow it down, bring him in nice and easy. Valk in de park, brother." He fought to keep the fear he felt out of his voice; Lance didn't need to be upset by it.

Lance grit his teeth and focused on his teammate's calm voice. Carefully, following the Norwegian's instructions, he brought the big red cat around to the front of the Castle and started to land. But before he could put the first paw on the ground, the dizziness he felt spiked, and he slumped over the controls. Red plummeted the remaining few feet to the ground, landing with a ground-shaking crash.

"LANCE!" Sven flew out of the control room and out to where Red sprawled on the Castle lawn. Carefully he climbed in, swearing when he saw the blood on Lance's face. "Hang on, brother, I vill get you to Doctor Gorma." He gently scooped Lance up in his arms, wincing when he felt Lance's broken ribs move, and slowly made his way out of the cockpit.

Lance was in a quiet, dark place. Nothing hurt, and he was content to just relax there. After what could have been minutes, or days, he saw a light in the distance, and heard measured footsteps. "Who's there?" he called, reaching for his blaster. "Don't come any closer!"

"Funny, that's not what you usually say," an amused voice returned. Its owner came closer; Lance could see a blindingly white Garrison dress uniform, covered with medals, and. . . .

"KEITH!" He flew into his lover's arms, sobbing. Keith returned the embrace, whispering soothing nothings and stroking Lance's hair. "Am—am I dead? Can I be with you now?"

Keith sighed. "No, beloved, no, and not yet. You're just unconscious. I begged to be allowed to see you one last time."

Lance leaned back to look at Keith. "I can't do this. I can't go on without you! You're everything to me; do you know how much of me died with you?"

"Yes, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that." Keith tightened his embrace. "But it was how it had to be. That's why I begged to see you again. Lance, you can't blame yourself. My death was my choice, not yours. There's nothing you could have done to stop or change it."

"But—if I hadn't gone running off—"

"I still would have faced Haggar. You know me; you know that's what I would have done, even if you hadn't gone off." Keith put a hand on Lance's cheek. "Don't blame yourself. If you ever loved me, don't. I can't bear it."

Lance leaned into the caress. "I'll try. You know I love you; I always have and I always will."

"Good. One last thing. Sven was right; don't think you have to be me to be Commander of the Voltron Force." Keith locked gazes with Lance. "I didn't choose you as my second because I thought you could be like me. You're a brilliant pilot, Lance, and you have as good a head for strategy as I do. You have a great team; let them help you. Together you WILL beat Doom; I've seen it." Keith stepped back. "My time's almost up; I have to go. Remember that I love you, with everything I've ever been. Don't grieve me too long; we'll be together again one day, I promise you that." He took Lance back in his arms and kissed him fiercely, then released him. "I'll always be with you, Lance, always. I love you." The light flared brightly, too brightly to look at. When Lance could see again, Keith was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Sven and Allura sat on either side of Lance's MedTech bed, listening to the beeping of the monitors. "I can stay with him, Sven," Allura said softly. "There's no telling when he'll wake up; I'll call you."

Sven shook his head. "I von't leave him, Princess. Ve all promised him, back at de Academy, dat von of us vould always be dere vhen he voke up in de hospital."

The princess tilted her head. "Why would you all make that kind of promise? I can see Keith doing it, from what you've told me, but why all four of you?"

Sven sighed, aware that he was about to break another of Lance's confidences. "Ve all promised because Lance is terrified of hospitals." He reached over Lance and took Allura's hand. "Lance had a very bad childhood, Princess. His mother drank all de time, and his fader vas alvays beating him. Lance spent a lot of time in de hospital, and alvays alone. He had nightmares about it at de Academy; vhen ve found out, ve promised him ve vould never let him be in de hospital alone."

Tears shone in Allura's blue eyes. "How horrible! Why didn't anyone do anything to stop it?"

"I don't know. Lance didn't like to talk about it, and Keit vouldn't let us push him to talk about it." Sven was quiet for a minute. "I tink Keit knew; I know dey didn't vant Lance on dis mission because of his background, and Keit went to de brass to fight for him."

Lance stirred. "How's a guy. . .supposed to. . .rest. . . with you. .. .two yapping?" he whispered.

"Lance! Thank the Goddess, you're awake!" Allura threw her arms around his chest, crying with happiness.

"Aaahh! Easy, Princess! I'm in pieces there!" Lance was deathly white, but managed to push the Princess back into her chair.

"Oh Goddess!" she gasped in horror. "Lance, I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I just got excited!"

Lance looked to Sven for help; the big Norwegian was in hysterics and would be no help to anyone anytime soon. Taking as deep a breath as he could to calm himself, he took Allura's hand. "It's. . . all right, Princess. No. . . harm done."

Allura squeezed his hand. "How do you feel? Sven told me you're scared of hospitals; I hope Doctor Gorma won't keep you here too long."

Lance glared at Sven, who now matched his own pallor. "Did he? Sounds like me and Viking boy here need to have a long talk."

Sven gulped. "Vow, look at de time! I—I got to get out on patrol! See you later!" He jumped to his feet and ran from the room.

Allura watched after him worriedly, then turned to Lance. To her surprise, he had both arms wrapped around his ribs, and was gasping with laughter. "Oh, damn, that hurts! But it was soo worth it!"

"You mean you aren't mad?"

"No, I should have told you myself." Lance patted the bed next to him, and Allura came and perched there. "You're part of the team now, Princess. You need to know everything the rest of us do." He paused. "Has anyone told you about Keith and me?"

Allura nodded. "Sven did, before the funeral. He wanted me to understand why you were taking it so much harder than he, Hunk and Pidge were."

Lance sighed. "I—we—should have told you that a long time ago, too. We talked about it; I wanted to, because I could see you had a thing for Keith." Allura gasped in denial, and Lance grinned at her. "Come on, Princess, I'm gay, not blind. You've had a crush on Keith since we walked in the door of that old castle." He took her hand. "I don't know if this will help or not, but Keith did love you, Princess, just like we all do. He couldn't be in love with you, not the way you would want, but he did love you. We had decided to tell you about us—that night." He looked away, fighting back the tears that threatened.

Allura squeezed his hand. "It does help. I just wish I could help you. I don't know why you aren't crazy, with all you've been through. Lance, why didn't anyone stop your father?"

Lance laughed bitterly. "Because nobody dared. I grew up in a small town, Princess. If you went there, the McClain name is all over everything, and my father is lord of all he surveys. No one was going to challenge him for trying to make a man out of his sissy-boy son." Lance looked away. "I tried to make him happy; I fought and played football and even joined a gang when I was 12. But I wasn't interested in girls, couldn't fake being interested in girls, and when he caught me kissing the boy next door, that's when he shipped me off to the Academy. Said they'd make a man out of me, by God." He lay back against his pillows, exhausted by the old memories. "He saved my life sending me there. I found out that there was nothing wrong with me, that lots of people felt the same way, and—"he gave Allura a crooked grin—"I met the cutest Japanese boy and went head over heels for him. Luckily, he felt the same way."

"How old were you?" Allura asked, torn between letting Lance get the rest he needed and her curiosity about the team's past.

"Sixteen." Lance closed his eyes, feeling his injuries and the past few sleepless nights catching up to him.

"I should go, and let you rest." Allura got up and started for the door, only to be stopped by Lance's hand around her wrist.

"Please stay." Lance blushed. "I—I don't sleep well without someone with me. Can you sit with me for a while?"

"I'll be glad to." Allura lay down next to Lance and carefully put her arms around him. He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder. She started to sing softly, something that sounded like a lullaby, and for the first time in three days Lance relaxed enough to fall asleep.

An hour later, Allura reluctantly shook his shoulder. "Lance? I'm sorry, Lance, you need to wake up and talk to me. Doctor Gorma says you have to."

Lance groaned. "Is OK, "he said groggily. "I know why. Always do it with concussion." He opened his eyes and looked at Allura. "Have you slept any at all tonight, Princess?" She shook her head and he frowned. "Go to bed, Princess. You need your rest." Allura hesitated, knowing Lance wouldn't sleep without someone there. "I'll be all right, Princess. Go get some sleep."

"I vill stay vith dis troublemaker." They looked to see Sven standing in the doorway. "He's right, Highness, you need your rest." Allura finally agreed and stood up, then kissed the top of Lance's head and slipped out of the room. Sven pulled a chair close to Lance's bed and straddled it backwards. "So, are you going to kill me now or later?" he asked warily.

"Later, much later," Lance grinned. "I'm hurting too much to enjoy it at the moment. So tell me, what other secrets of mine have you told our Princess?"

Sven blushed. "Just about de hospital, and about you and Keit. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have. It vas none of my business."

Lance sighed, then winced at the pain the movement sparked. "I won't lie to you, Sven. I'm not happy that you told Allura all that. But, she needed to know; she's part of the team and we shouldn't have any secrets from her. I should have told her weeks ago."

Sven nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Physically? I've got a headache the size of Arus, and my ribs are killing me. I hope we get a couple days break from Zarkon and his merry men."

"That's not vhat I meant."

Lance looked away. "I know. What do you want me to tell you, Sven? That I'll be fine, I'll get over it and move on? I won't. I know you didn't approve of me and Keith because it goes against your religious beliefs, but he was the love of my life. I'll never have that again."

Sven leaned over and put his hand on Lance's arm. "Stop right dere. You are right, I didn't approve of you and Keit vhen I first found out. I vas alvays taught dat such a ting vas a sin." His blue eyes were troubled. "But, I've vatched you and him together for five years. I've seen how much you love each oder, and how good you've been for each oder. I don't care vhat my church teaches; dat kind of love cannot be wrong in God's eyes."

Lance was speechless. All of the team practiced some religious faith or the other; of them all, Sven was the most devout, and had always been clear about what his faith taught on homosexuality. To have him admit that that teaching was wrong—_Surely Zarkon will embrace peace tomorrow, after that._ Aloud he said, "From you that means a lot, Sven. Thank you." He took as deep a breath as he dared. "I saw him when I was out of it. He told me goodbye, said we'd be together again someday."

"Vill you manage?"

Lance gave him a crooked grin. "I have to, don't I? Somebody's got to run this racket." He held up a hand. "Straight answer. It's not going to be easy; I know I'll hurt until the day I join him. But as long as I have you guys to lean on, I think I can make it."

Sven smiled and put a hand on Lance's shoulder. "Alvays, my brother."


	6. Epilogue

The Marshal of Arus walked into Castle Control. The young lieutenant on duty glanced around at his footsteps, then snapped to attention when he saw who was standing there. "M-Marshal, sir! Nobody told me you were coming, sir!"

The Marshal hid a grin. "Relax, Lieutenant. I didn't tell anybody I was coming. I just wanted to look at things." He eased into the lieutenant's chair, wincing as his bones creaked. "Do an old man a favor? I could really use a cup of coffee." The lieutenant hesitated, reluctant to leave his post. "Lieutenant, I am the Marshal of Arus. The only people who outrank me are the King and Queen. If you CO has a problem, send him to me."

The lieutenant nodded and vanished. The old Marshal waited until he could no longer hear footsteps, then raised the dais and slipped into the number one chute, the cocky grin of a much younger man on his face. A minute later, Black Lion roared to life and raced into the stratosphere.

In the cockpit, the Marshal closed his eyes and let the years fall away. When he opened them again, he was just Lance McClain, the best damn pilot Arus had ever seen. _And the most conceited_, a voice teased at the back of his mind. "You're just jealous," Lance countered, sending Black into a dive. "Damn, but I've missed this!" He spent the next fifteen minutes putting Black through his paces, inordinately pleased that he hadn't lost his touch and his reflexes were only a little slower than they had been in his 20s. _You know they're coming after you_, the voice chuckled. _You've got the whole Castle in an uproar_. "Let them come." Lance turned Black back towards the Castle and saw Blue Lion coming up in front of him. "I needed to do this, and you know why." _Yeah, I do. Turn your COM on before Prince Lars has a stroke. I'll see you soon_. Lance smiled softly and hit the switch for the COM. "Calm down, Lars, I'm on the way back in."

The prince grumbled. "I'm not happy with you, Uncle Lance. I want to see you in Control. Blue Lion out."

Lance laughed and set Black down on his pedestal. He was still laughing when he came up in the control room and came face to face with a fuming Lars Holgerson. "Are you out of your mind, Uncle? You had no business in that Lion, you could have been hurt or even killed! Why didn't you ask one of us for a ride? You know we'll take you up anytime. This was stupid!"

Lance glared at Lars, and the fire in his green eyes had the prince backing up a step. "I would advise you to remember who you're talking to." The soft voice was pure steel. "I may be old, but I am no fool, and I don't take kindly to being thought one."

Lars gulped. "I-I'm sorry, Uncle. I don't think—"

"Yes, you do. I did at your age," Lance snorted. "I didn't ask for a ride because I wanted to FLY, not be taken on a couple of laps of the Castle grounds at stall speed and be told how much FUN it was." The sarcasm in his voice had Lars blinking. "As for being hurt or killed—I flew Black for 25 years. We know each other inside and out; he wouldn't let me get hurt."

"You might as well let it go, son," a voice chuckled. Lance turned to see King Erik walking into Control. "Your grandfather Sven told me a long time ago that Lance was the most stubborn man he'd ever met; you aren't going to get anywhere arguing."

Lars looked back and forth between the two older men, still clearly angry. "How did you even do it? I KNOW Mieke didn't give you Black's key."

"No, she didn't," Lance agreed. "Black called me. He wanted to say goodbye."

The royals' eyes went wide. Erik found his voice first. "No. You-you can't die, Uncle Lance!"

Lance raised an eyebrow. "I promise you I can, Erik. I'm 86 years old. I'm tired, and I've been alone far too long." He smiled. "I never expected to see 30, let alone 86."

"But we need you!" Lars protested.

"No you don't. You have good pilots in the Force, and more coming along. The Denubian Galaxy is at peace, and it's time I was too."

"When?" Erik asked.

"I don't know." It was a lie; Lance could feel his life slipping away as he stood there. As he spoke again, his voice went rough with emotion. "But I'll tell you both now; I'm very proud of the men you've become, and I couldn't love you more if you were my flesh and blood. Guard Arus well, and remember me." He embraced them both, fighting tears, and then turned and left before they could think to stop him.

His steps soon brought him to the Memorial Garden, where his teammates slept. Lance himself had begun the Garden when the war ended two years after Keith's death, planting red roses around the black marble obelisk that bore Keith's name in both kanji and English script. Over the ensuing years, the Force had turned the site into their private retreat, adding benches, walkways, a fountain, and a mixture of plants native to both Arus and Earth.

Lance eased himself down onto his favorite bench next to Keith's grave and let his mind wander. Hunk had been the first to join their fallen Captain, just five years after the war. He had been swept away trying to rescue some children from a flash flood. Pidge had been next, some fifteen years later. Not even 40, he had succumbed to the genetic disorder that had kept him from growing past 5 feet tall.

And then there was Sven and Allura. Lance chuckled as he remembered. The beautiful monarch had fallen hard for the quiet Norwegian, and he quite frankly had worshipped her. They had ruled Arus together for sixty years, dying within hours of each other just two years previous. _Would've been nice if we could've done that,_ Lance thought, not even noticing as his head fell forward and he drifted off. . .

"I've waited 65 years for you, and you can't even wake up to talk to me," a voice chuckled in Lance's ear.

Lance startled awake. Sitting next to him, dressed in his familiar jumpsuit, was—"Keith!" He threw himself into his husband's arms, sobbing out 65 years of loneliness. Keith held him tightly, stroking his hair and letting him cry. Finally, Lance got control of himself and sat up, noticing as he did that he was wearing his old leather jacket and was 21 years old again.

Keith grinned at him. "Nothing's ever going to separate us again, Beloved. Come on, there's a heck of a party waiting for you!" He pulled Lance to his feet and guided him down the path. After three steps they vanished, leaving behind only the echo of their laughter and a worn-out, no longer needed body.


End file.
